Sunday, February 27, 2011

I'm baaaaaaack...

When I applied for my job in the ER, I wanted it with an intensity that you can only get from fantasizing about something so hard and for so long. And as I sat for my interview, I thought it was going really well, and had (finally) started to think this could actually happen, when my future boss asked me the question I was dreading.

"So, how are your IV skills?" she asked.

Lots of things went through my head. The fact that we almost never started IVs in the ICU, since virtually everyone had a central line. The fact that this woman was a riot and I adored her instantly and wanted desperately to work for her. The fact that any IV I had ever hit in my life thus far had been a matter of sheer luck, done with shaking hands. And that there hadn't been many of those. The fact that I was petrified of IVs and that no matter how hard I chanted my little "face your fears" mantra, I still ran the other way when anyone mentioned them. The fact that I really am a pretty honest person, which led me to admit,

"Not so hot, to tell the truth."

My heart sank. I could feel my dream sliding away. We talked about other things for quite a while and when she offered me the job (on the spot), she said

"Don't worry. We'll teach you IVs. You'll get plenty of practice."

And I have. After a learning curve full of fear and frustrated anger and more than my fair share of anxiety, I've looked the beast in the mouth and realized it isn't so scary after all. Even crazier, I've started to really like doing them, to the point that I sometimes run around at work volunteering to start other people's lines for them. And when my mentor, the nurse whom I followed around like a puppy coveting her IV skills, asked me to try recently when she had missed twice on someone, and I sauntered into the room and nailed it, I had a feeling that was really hard to pin down.

It was an incredible rush. I had faced down something that terrified me and realized it wasn't so bad. I had taken something that in my opinion was one of the worst things I could have to do and seen that it wasn't such a big deal after all. And I had come out of it confident and proud and excited about what might lie ahead. The beast only looked like it roared. All it took was the right mindset to realize that if you never give up, good things will happen.

Not a bad lesson for life in general.


  1. You've got to be kidding me! I was JUST thinking about you yesterday and wondering if you were every going to blog again!

    I've missed your voice - glad to hear you're back!

  2. Definitely a mantra to live life by!

    It's good to have you back.....I've toyed with starting to blog again and you may just spur me on!

  3. Oh, ladies. I've missed it - and all of you - so much. Just don't expect too much!!

  4. 'bout time!! "Don't expect too much?"....I'll be happy with "just dropped by to say hello."

  5. It's so good to have you back and you know I love the subjects you blog about. I've missed you.

  6. And here I thought my trip to Fosselman's would be the highlight of my day! XO

  7. Why do i smell a big "told you so" somewhere around here ? And Fosselman's is alway a highlight of the day, no matter what.

  8. Soooooosooo glad you are back, a bright spot in my day. And as a patient with VAST experience receiving IVs I am so glad you are getting it right and I have seen this phenomena also. The pride in nailing the IV is evident. I haven't had to have too many new IVs lately, but when I was having them, I always knew to ask for someone that might nail it on the first try - it hurts and it's no fun and most nurses KNOW that.

    I am not planning any trips to visit you at work anytime soon, but it's good to know that you'll be there when I need you!!! Can't wait to hear some more from you soon!!!! Yeahhhhhh!!

  9. First post and you've already inspired me to kick myself in the bottom, and made me smile. Ack you're back. Yay.

  10. Ps Word verification 'mispap'. It made me laugh. I know, sad.